I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
operation harelip BJ is a go
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
