hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
