So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
