The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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