I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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