Me too!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
