i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
