Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
