i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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