Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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