I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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