It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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