need another drink. this is the easiest way
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
