no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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