She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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