Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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