Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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