Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
