if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
