the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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