I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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