She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
