3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
