How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
