when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
third nipple confirmed
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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