i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
