i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize