dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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