my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
