I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
