He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
