Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
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