What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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