Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The adults are the big ones right?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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