Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
