Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
