As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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