I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
love makes seman taste better
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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