i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Small penises have feelings too.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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