you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
