it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
