But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
