Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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