I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
