i think i have herpe
just one?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
