dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize