The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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