waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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