I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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