You smell like a Billy Joel song
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i out mim tonsoeep
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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