dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Even my vagina gasped.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
