..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
