she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i barfeds in our rink
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
