using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
