I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
