Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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