I just cut my nipple shaving
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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