But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
