The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
