I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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