she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize