He asked to "fluff my boner.."
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
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